Prince of Persia: Blue Balls

I feel another rant coming on.  I’m incredibly, wholeheartedly upset.  I feel like I was left hanging out in the cold.  Something that I would assume it would feel like for a guy when a girl teases and teases but then doesn’t let anything further happen…is how I currently feel.  Yes, I suppose what I am feeling is similar to blue balls.

Video Game Blue Balls

Oh yes I did. Video Game Blue Balls.

Ubisoft, prepare to feel my wrath.

Let me back up.  And if you still plan on playing the 2008 release of Prince of Persia and don’t want the ending spoiled for you…read no further.

I finished Prince of Persia over the weekend.  It’s a fairly short game, and the whole while I was waiting for something to happen between the Prince and Elika.  [See the expectations here]  They flirted, they touched a lot, and Elika checked out the Prince’s ass, but still, nothing happened.  No kiss.  No makeout scene.  No tenting action.

And the end of the game?  WTF is that?  I mean, yes, it’s powerful, it’s moving, it’s fascinating, but it’s basically destroying everything you worked for during the course of the game.  And talk about a cliffhanger!  Ubisoft, are you basically just angling for people to run out and grab the downloadable content?  Now that’s just cruel.  I mean, come on!  Unless you’re doing a sequel soon, I’m going to be pissed.  I like my video games to have neat endings…not…massively major cliffhangers.

Plus, the Prince brings Elika back to life and there’s still no makeout scene?  Sure, she’s pissed that he destroyed everything they did (heck, I was pissed making him do it!), and pretty much released the biggest evil god ever, but she should throw herself at him since she’s officially living and breathing again.  Also, wouldn’t the Prince make a move to plant a big wet one on her once she came back to life?  I was surprised that he didn’t.

Prince of Persia

Ubisoft, I'm gonna smack you.

Granted, I don’t believe that every story can have a happy ending.  But this one just hurt.  I was literally in pain chopping down those trees, I was in pain when the Prince walked off with Elika in his arms and the darkness literally swallowing them up.  I was in pain that none of that sexual tension amounted to anything.

Prince of Persia has officially given me blue balls.


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Posted On
Jul 27, 2010
Posted By
Reece Khan

Prince of Persia has definitely great graphics and storyline. Jake is also the best actor for this movie.”;:

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