Mass Effect: Gettin’ Dirty with Joker’s Personal Life

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Mass Effect's Joker

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So… does that mean Joker could… handle a lady?  It seems to me that if the going got rough, well, that Joker’s bones would be crushed.

It’s also interesting to think that if Joker ISN’T able to have sex, that he has psychological damage from being unable to participate in one of human’s most basic functions.  It’s why he insists on sitting in a cockpit all day.  Okay, that was lame, I admit.  But honestly, it seems like flying the fastest, most technologically advanced ship in the galaxy could be a way to exert his masculinity.  It’s why he’s adamant that HE flies the ship.

Mass Effect's Joker

"Hi, I'm Joker. I'm going to interrupt you every time you're getting some action. Probably because I'm mad that I can't get any."

*In terms of WHICH of Joker’s bones are brittle, it seems that we have a slight plot inaccuracy across Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2.  You see, in the first Mass Effect, Joker explains that only the LOWER HALF of his body is brittle, as detailed in this video.

Mass Effect: Joker Explains his Disease

And in Mass Effect 2, it is insinuated that ALL of Joker’s bones are brittle.  After the *SPOILER SCENE*, the discussion in the video below takes place between the members of the crew.  Joker makes a reference to ‘breaking his arm’ at an enemy.  Please note that this video also contains spoilers if you haven’t yet played Mass Effect 2!

Mass Effect 2: Joker Talks about Breaking his Arm

Additionally, on BioWare’s site for Mass Effect 2, it is mentioned that ‘the recoil from a rifle can cause fractures’ in Joker.  (link to the page is here: BioWare’s Character Page for Joker)

BioWare!  What happened?

But don’t worry.  [Insert line of adoring love for BioWare repeated in almost all of Kat’s posts].

-Kat

Sadly, I couldn’t call sex ‘tenting’ this time.  It doesn’t really fit in the Mass Effect universe.  That’s all Dragon Age.  If you’ve got a snarky analogy, I’m very open to hearing it.

*ahem* Docking??

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Comments

Posted On
Jan 05, 2011
Posted By
Calamitybird

Well I have to say, Kat, this is more than I’ve ever sat and pondered Joker’s sex life before! You dirty girl.

There do seem to be some discrepancies here and there in the severity of Joker’s condition. They do try to assure us that he can walk and function normally, but gingerly, and so him being up and walking in that scene (and even in his first appearance with Cerberus) would make sense. But *FURTHER SPOILERS* we also see him cry out in pain when Shepherd takes him by the arm toward the beginning. And yet in the big scene with EDI he’s thrown across the room by acceleration at one point with no repercussions, and toward the end we do see him firing a gun.

My guess would be that he could have a sex life…carefully. Certainly not with a cowgirl. 😉

P.S. ‘Docking’ made me giggle, I say we go with it! Me, I like ‘popping the heat sink’…but you know me, I’m Garrus’s girl, hopelessly and completely. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of some calibrations.

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Posted On
Jan 05, 2011
Posted By
brandong

Conceivably, zero gravity environments would allow joker to have physical sexual contact without having to hold up the pressure of another physical body. Clearly gravity can be controlled in space flight, and could then be lessened for the purposes of a woman facilitating sexual intercourse without having to use joker’s body as a support. Jokers muscles and tendons should still work, and even more so if the gravity is not as strong. This discussion seems like a moot point when viewed in the light of advanced technology and space flight.

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Posted On
Jan 05, 2011
Posted By
wadoobie

Brandong, you’re looking at it in terms of weight. While you’re correct in saying that weight is an irrelevant factor with zero gravity weight wouldn’t cause the problem it would just add to it. It’s the fact that two objects mass would risk bumping into one another. Gravity has little bearing when two objects of mass collide. If he is delicate enough to be in pain when being lifted out of a chair when having the pelvis of another person collide with his repeatedly and in quick succession could be problematic gravity or no.

I think he could get some lovin’ but it would have to be very very gentle. No fun stuff.

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Posted On
Jan 05, 2011
Posted By
Josh

It would still be infinitely more than what most players of the series get.

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Posted On
Jan 05, 2011
Posted By
CMighty

Hey! That’s not true, I’ve done Ashley, Liara, Miranda, Tali, and Jack!! So there…

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