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E3 News and Information

Well, E3 is upon us. We here at Polish the Console are sorry to say that we cannot be there to offer you the amazing new and information with our…special point of view. We can’t help it, we have actual jobs outside of PtC that we have  to worry about. I know, sad :-(.

What we CAN do is offer the next best thing. So go ahead and click the image below and check out our E3 News Center. Who knows, if you play your cards wrong we may even chime in on a topic or two.

E3 News and Information

Check out the latest E3 News and Information

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Video Game Pin Ups: Rikku

Final Fantasy X was a phenomenal specimen of both story and beauty when it hit the PlayStation 2. Contained within was yet another specimen of beauty. Within the world of Spira was a race of people known as the Al Bhed. They were a feared and hated people because of their open and extensive use of Machina and rightfully so! Seriously, who likes to use machines?!?!?!

Sorry internet I didn’t mean it.

Rikki Final Fantasy X

First appearance of Rikku. Who wants to translate that into Al Bhed?

If a normal denizen of Spira were to lay eyes on one specific Al Bhed, however, I’m sure they would all change their tune.

Rikku is a spunky little Al Bhed who displays an uncanny ability to either:

A.) Hold her breath for a ridiculously long time

B.) Breathe without the normal use of her mouth.

Either way it makes her go from hot to hotter in a fraction of a second. Mix that with the fact that she’s a forbidden race of people and the hotness just keeps rising.

We first meet her when Tidus is lost and confused in a brave new world. He gets captured by the Al Bhed and held on their ship. While the crew is content to leave him on deck alone to starve, one lone individual decides to show kindness to the stranger. Sure you can’t understand a word she’s saying, but you just know she’s a hottie.

But this isn’t the only game in which we find this weeks Ass Stamp of Approval winner.

Rikku Final Fantasy X-2

Rikku: as she is seen in Final Fantasy X-2

She also has the distinction of being one of two people to be heavily prominent in the first ever Final Fantasy direct sequel, Final Fantasy X-2. In X-2 she’s still an Al Bhed, but now they are more tolerated and welcomed by the people. Probably the Rikku hotness won them over.

While she’s not as bundled up as the first go round, she can change costumes and show off a variety of…lest just call them talents.

For this reason Rikku is this weeks Ass Stamp of Approval: Video Game Pin Up winner.

I think I can speak for most when I say: “Rumo csugac e fuimt mega du pyhk dra ramm uid uv Rikku”

Ass Stamp

You go Rikku

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Video Game Pin Ups: Miranda Lawson

Miranda Lawson was an interesting mix to the Mass Effect universe. Rather than simply leave the player to believe that she had reasonably attractive parents and took great care of her body, Mass Effect 2 flat out tells us that Miranda Lawson was genetically engineered to be a hot piece. Miranda winds up on the Video Game Pin Up list because of a few reasons:

Miranda Lawson - Mass Effect 2

Miranda Lawson's 2nd and 3rd best assets

Miranda is a confident and capable party member. She is intelligent, sultry, and fairly adept in the ancient art of ass kickery. She’ll call your bluff and knock you on your ass while she does it. This helps ramp up the hotness.

Sure she was engineered to do so, but who doesn’t love a little creative engineering? It brought about many advancements. Lets keep it up.

Also…she has an awesome Australian accent which helps push up the hotness a few notches. What guy doesn’t have that fantasy of a foreign girl.

Miranda Lawson - Mass Effect 2

Miranda's Top Asset

Mass Effect 2 goes to great lengths with its interesting choices in camera angles to let us see Miranda’s best asset. The infinite wisdom has once again shown through in game design to bestow upon us a thing of true wonder. Sure this is a game that takes place in space and we are fairly sure to have a trip to a few moons, but this is the kind of moon that once you land on it you take your time. You survey. Maybe take a souvenir or two. You don’t just drop on, plant a flag, and fly away. You build a damn colony and raise your kids there.

It’s absolutely magnificent.

For this reason we have absolutely no problem throwing down the Ass Stamp of Approval to Miranda Lawson. She does indeed have one of the best in video games

Ass Stamp

Truly deserving of its own award

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Show us what you got: Video Game Pick Up Lines

Ohgren attempting a pick up line

Oghren is my hero.

Every now and then you come across a nice pick up line in a video game. While most are trite and contrived, every now and then you find a real gem.  Take for instance my man Oghren. When he meets up with his special lady friend he gracefully uses the line “Are you a baker? ‘Cause you got a sodding nice set of buns.”  Doesn’t quite have a sense of eloquence about it, however it gets the job done. It conveys the appropriate message, it adds a bit of humor, and it’s even rather complimentary once you get past the totally uncouth manner in which it was stated.

Oghren really has a way with words. That lil’ “sword polisher” really can make me laugh.

Other times you find a great one liner. Something you read and have to think about later and wonder if you really did in fact see that.

Well, now it’s your turn to show us what you got. Share with us your favorite in game one liners and pick up lines. Either fire an e-mail off to, hit us up on twitter @ConsolePolisher or just use the comment section below.

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Scandal, Sensuality, and "Polishing the Console"

People have always had a bit of a perv side to them; it’s undeniable. It’s strange that a medium as wide spread and penetrating as Video Games is just starting to accept it as part of the medium’s growth and evolution.  Something intended to be an escape for the users and give them a glimpse in time of another life still fears to boldly tread in the sultry, sweaty, and purely delightful aspect of life that is a basic motivator for most.

Can you honestly sit there and say that in Final Fantasy VIII when a couple of high school kids wind up alone in a space ship with no light but the twinkling of the stars before them they didn’t even consider anything naughty? I would have…in a heart beat. Without question. Heck I’m thinking of it now.

But what of the games that do? What of the games that understand that people change their clothes and in doing so they tend to be somewhat nude? What of the games that understand that people do in fact bathe and shower? Most normal people do not wear any form of clothing when they do. I don’t mean games like Custer’s Revenge which seem to be the only basis for the game itself. I mean games like Dragon Age: Origins that allows players to engage in an adult relationship; Assassins Creed II, God of War (albeit a little campy to make it a mini game), and the upcoming PS3 game Heavy Rain.

Games that showcase something fun to snicker at, something almost laughable at times, and games that do not shy away from the sexual side need to be celebrated as a natural progression of evolution and not vilified as morally reprehensible.

…After all without sex there is no life.

I’ve always found it backwards that as a country, America embraces violence more than it accepts sexuality.  Have you noticed how a game like Manhunt, which is disturbingly violent in that you can rip out someone’s spine or bludgeon them to death with a hammer, gets less heat than a game with a sex scene like Mass Effect?  Mass Effect’s scene – which is optional, I might also point out – is about the culmination of a relationship between two characters over time.  It isn’t the object of the entire game, while killing in Manhunt, is the object.  Games with a ‘Sexual Content’ rating, or ‘Suggestive Content’, get blasted more frequently than games with ‘Blood and Gore’  or ‘Realistic Violence’ ratings.

What’s up with that?

The point of this blog is to applaud the games that embrace sexual content.  Let’s face it – we’re all pervs at heart.  And we giggle madly when a pervy reference pops up in a game.

So let’s make love, not war.  And we’ll be sure to post pictures of our in-game encounters.

– Wadoobie & Kat

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