Category: Ubisoft

If you’ve been watching the news from Ubisoft, you know that a brand new Assassin’s Creed game is coming out in the series, Revelations.  And not just that, but good old Ezio Auditore will be returning.


Revelations: It's yet to be revealed whether or not Ezio will be overkill in this game

Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Ezio.  Who doesn’t? He walks a delicate line, appealing to both men and women in perfect balance.

However… I feel like he’s done.  Didn’t it seem that between AC2 and Brotherhood, he went from young to old?  It seemed to me that we saw the main points in his life, and thus got an overview of his entire life.  His story felt finished.  He’s done.  An amazing character’s story told, life complete, and so put to rest.  It will be overkill to keep having him in Assassin’s Creed games.

Not that I wouldn’t like to see him again.  I think he’s an amazing character.  Don’t assume that because of the ‘Ezio the Fraud’ post, I wouldn’t enjoy having Ezio around again in a game.  I felt that issue was fully resolved in Brotherhood.  But I doubt that he can keep appearing in the Assassin’s Creed series and still have his character’s integrity preserved.  What else could Ezio be squeezing in to his life that we wouldn’t have seen in AC2 or Brotherhood?


DAAAAAAMN... Ezio, you look OLD!!!

I have heard that Ezio will be older in this game, probably in his 50’s.  Just look at that Ezio picture.  DAMN.  Now, how will that work in the story?  Will he be more hunch-backed?  Will he need a walker?  How will the walker play into the assassin tools?  Will it shoot blow darts?  The news states that a new blade will be introduced in Revelations, the Hookblade.  However, won’t he be a little old to be hanging off the sides of buildings?  Won’t that wrench his shoulder?  Will he get out of breath easily, and will we hear him huffing and panting?  If he still shows the same amount of agility as seen in AC2 and Brotherhood, we here at PtC are calling shenanigans.

I do believe there’s more to the Desmond story.  Yes, absolutely.  That one’s obvious.  *SPOILER ALERT*  The last thing we saw from him was him stabbing Lucy.  It can’t end on THAT note.

And not only Ezio will return in this game as a playable character, but also Altair.  Let’s hope his story gets more interesting.  AND that his voice actor gets excited about portraying his character.  Sheesh, I think I could have done a better job than that guy.

Either way, I’m interested to see what Ubisoft does with Ezio in Assassin’s Creed Revelations.  Here’s to hoping the Ezio character isn’t overkill.


EDIT:  Interesting and good to know.  I just heard that this will be the last game featuring Ezio as the main character.

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We Dare for Wii and PS3

There I was sitting at my desk. A client had just unraveled a mat to be used for beer pong (yes I am 100% serious) and I thought “This could be the most amazing / awkward moment of my day.”  I finished my meeting discussing the product in question and flicked on my computer monitor. I checked Twitter and saw something. Something that made me so very very wrong.

I won’t lie to you I really didn’t watch it at first. I just had it up on a screen to my right while I looked at marketing figures, but I found the song catchy. I finally glanced over and what I saw meant that I had to hit the “restart” button. This is an advertisement for a rather adult looking video game for the Wii and PS3. I became intrigued. I was seeing “We Dare” from Ubisoft. According to the information on the video:

We Dare is a sexy, quirky, party game that offers a large variety of hilarious, innovative and physical, sometimes kinky, challenges. The more friends you invite to party, the spicier the play!

What did I see? Well allow me to share:

Update: Apparently the video we had wasn’t working…lets try an alternate source.

A few comments on We Dare: Those girls are way more into the spanking than the guys are, however the guys are far more eager to strip down. This flies in the face of everything I learned in college. Also why are they nuzzling a Wiimote? Thats just not sanitary. Did they use a bleach wipe before playing? Please tell me they will after. If they have kids then there are going to be some interesting questions like “why is the Wiimote sticky?”

Finally the video brings us to one final question: what are those “Parental Codes”? Well that’s the easy part. What we have is some bonus content that really only creates more questions. Join me shall you as we watch and ask the questions that come to mind of an Ohio ginger as he watches videos for We Dare.

We Dare: Bonus Video 1 – The Group Effort

So this video game can lead to orgies? Well that doesn’t sound like bad thing per se, however if Chasing Amy taught me anything it’s that behavior such as multiple partners can really take its toll on a relationship. I hope they set up some ground rules before engaging in that. Otherwise knock your socks off as well as the socks of at least two other people. Lets face it if you can’t do that then maybe you should just stick to one at a time.

We Dare: Bonus Video 2 – The Awkward Moment

Those two gentleman sure do look left out. They look downright sullen. They got left by the wayside while their dates adjourned to what we assume is the boudoir. You can tell that neither of them really knows what to do. In a desperate attempt to entertain himself one suggests that they nuzzle the Wiimote again. They are clearly not into one another or else they would be having some fun of their own. How about this as an option, try Wii Sports. I’ve wasted a few hours with the Home Run Derby. Guys there is nothing wrong with changing video games. Hell, if the other guy just wants to end the gaming and you’re not ready throw in Twilight Princess or hell, Animal Crossing. Still board, watch a movie, the Wii has Netflix!

Still not what you want? How about you knock on the door and ask if they need anything. Man up, engage the situation. What’s the worst thing that happens? They say no. Do something other than sit around like a pair of tools, no wonder your women don’t need you!

We Dare: Bonus Video 3 – The Unwelcome Guests

Okay one of  three things is going on here. Either their partners have left them for the company of another, their friends are in their bedroom, or they are really overstaying their welcome. If it’s the third option then take the damn hint you two. When the hosts go to bed for the night that’s typically a sign to put down the bean dip, flip off the TV, and hit the road. I assume there’s bean dip. If there isn’t then it’s not that much of a party. If it’s door number two then they are entirely too accommodating to their guests. Know when to draw the line and say no. Also their friends are assholes. Seriously, there are certain things that shouldn’t be done  in a friend’s bed. Their guest beds, okay. Just make sure to let them know to wash the sheets before you leave.

If they have in fact decided to switch partners, which the start of the first video would allude to, then I think there is a tremendous problem going on here. Ubisoft has decided that they want to say to hell with endorsements of conventional relationships. Lets really take things to the next level. We’ve done the monogamy thing. We like it. Not always for everyone but hey, more power to you if it is. Let’s try to be swingers. Swingers who can’t do this kind of thing without the help of video games.

However once again I’m left to wonder, why the hell are you just sitting on the sofa? What’s so wrong with you that you decide “No thanks, I don’t want to have fun. I’m cool having an awkward staring contest with everything in the room OTHER than the person sitting next to me.” You’re adults. Grow a pair and have some fun.

Either way someone is going to hear “We have to talk” in the morning and that will not be a fun conversation.

We Dare: Bonus Video 4 – The It’s About Damn Time You Figured it Out

Oh god no. It’s these two idiots again. What the hell are they waiting for an invitation? Oh…they were…they really are a couple of tools. Protip fellas, if she has to invite you into the bedroom, you’re really in over your head. Not in a good way either.

Given that this is a Europe only release for the PS3 and Wii it looks like over here in the States we won’t have to worry too much about strange awkward relationship moments. Just the normal awkward relationship moments.

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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

Ubisoft has done a fantastic job with their first attempt at an online multiplayer version of Assassin’s Creed.  And it works, too.  My overall impressions were very positive, with a few kinks that need to be ironed out.  It’s different from regular, Halo or Modern Warfare – types of versus games in that everything you do in versus matches of AC:B has to be approached stealthily.  You can’t just run around shooting (or, in this case, stabbing) everyone in sight.  Well, scratch that.  You can, but it will be a quick way to call attention to yourself and you will be assassinated in no time.

In fact, in Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, the online versus matches can actually get your heart pounding.  Especially when the screen flashes with a warning of ‘ESCAPE’, indicating that another player is hot on your trail, looking to take you down.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - The Courtesan

She'll drop you... and then you can watch her hips SWING

As I started my AC:B Multiplayer experience, I was given the fairly standard introduction, with tactics on how to approach an enemy and how to kill stealthily.  One thing that instantly made me incredibly happy:  You can FINALLY play as a sexy assassin female!  Hell yes!  I, of course, was the Courtesan.

Anyways, after taking out three targets in the intro, you’re able to move on to fight against other online players.  From the menu options, it looks like there will only be two types of playable games, versus and co-op.  Unfortunately for me (because I absolutely suck at online versus gaming), I only had the option to play versus.  Hopefully Ubisoft will expand the game types further, so that the online matches don’t get overly repetitive.  ‘Capture the Flag’ is always a good one, and could be creatively implemented with the assassin theme, such as ‘Cut a Coinpurse’ or ‘Steal the Treasure’.  Even something along the lines of half the players try to assassinate one non playable character, while the other half try to protect the NPC could be interesting.

But on to the gritty details!  When you jump into an online match, which usually contains around 8 players or so, you get to choose what character you’d like to play as.  Characters get picked up quickly, so it’s best to choose a person as soon as you’re on the screen.  From here, you are taken to a screen where you are able to choose something called a ‘Profile Set’, which you can customize from the main menu and has a set number of abilities, perks, and streaks.  (More on customizing profile sets later)  In the match, your mission is to assassinate a target, shown in the upper right hand corner of the screen, within a set time limit.  You need to first locate your target, using a ‘compass’, a blue circle on the bottom of the screen.  This indicator works just like an actual compass in that it points in the direction your target is.  The indicator will also widen or shrink, depending on how close or far away from your target you are.

The catch is that there are plenty of random NPCs walking around within the level, and every NPC looks like all the characters you can play as.  In other words, if your target is the Doctor, there are many look-alikes in the crowd that can throw you off, and if you’re playing as the Courtesan, there are many Courtesans walking around to throw off pursuers.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - Killed with a Fan

Killed with a fan. And I bet that dude sneaking up behind is about to take her out.

Within the match, there are various ways to earn points: kill related, action related, session bonus related, and team bonus related.  The kill-related points are obviously counted when you make a kill.  An ‘Incognito Kill’ earns you a whopping 300 points, and is awarded when you never use the High Profile button, meaning you can’t run and can’t be detected.  Believe me, how anyone could get this type of kill is beyond me, because most people are hard to locate or are far away or are running around themselves, and you want to find them quickly.  Unless maybe their connection froze and they’re just standing around.  There are many various kill points you can get.  Action points are for things such as an ‘Escape’, which is escaping a pursuer while being chased.  Session bonus points include ‘Podium’, for finishing 1st, 2nd or 3rd in a match. (Yeah, I haven’t gotten points for THAT – best I did was 5th)  Finally, for team bonus points, you must be in a co-op match, and can earn a ‘Co-op Kill’, which is killing a target locked on by a teammate.

‘What can I do with points?’, you may ask.  Well, points actually help you level up.  And leveling up unlocks various abilities, perks, and streaks for your profile set.  So, let’s talk about that Profile Set.  There are three different unlockable profile sets that you are able to customize, and each set has two slots under each category of abilities, perks, and streaks.  This means that you can create characters with various special talents or bonuses that will work to your advantage while in multiplayer.  One example of an ability is ‘Sprint Bonus’, which makes you run faster for a short period of time.  A perk is something that assists you, such as ‘Reset Cooldowns’, and the streak bonus grants you extra points for various accomplishments.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - Doomed

Yeah, that happened to me a lot.

The bad stuff?  Well, I might be nit-picking, but I really don’t like that once a match is completed, the game will immediately begin a countdown to plunge you into matchmaking to find a new match.  Another thing, is there any type of penalty for dropping out of a match?  I did so in the middle of a game (after being stabbed in the back 5 times without having killed anyone yet) and the only backlash was that I didn’t get to keep the points I’d earned (except I didn’t earn any, so it didn’t matter).  When someone continues to do that over and over, it’s abuse of the system.

I’m really hoping Ubisoft will crank out some new game play types and some new maps.  The Siena map…oh I’m not sure I can even craft a full sentence regarding my hate towards this level.  I will, however, type out the jotted note I’d written down about it, “Siena lvl – bleah SUCK HATE death”  Yeah, that sums it up.

The last of my complaints – which I feel is a big one – is about the various levels for online multiplayer matches.  To me, it seemed as though I was playing against people at much higher levels than me.  One character that I played against when I was at level 3 had the ‘Smoke Bomb’ ability, which is unlocked at level 8.  Granted, there are just 5 levels between our characters, but that leaves a wide gap between my abilities and a level 8’s abilities.  It seems as though the Profile Sets can breed unfair advantages to those of a much higher level.  And why, prior to a match, can’t I view the level of another player in the same match?!  Gamers love to compare stats.  Ubisoft, please oblige.

Overall I believe the multiplayer in Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood is a very solid starting point for the series.  It is to be noted that I am simply playing the Beta version; I have no doubt that Ubisoft will smooth all of these pieces out to make it a completely awesome experience.


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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

While I was playing the best sequel ever made for a video game, aka Assassin’s Creed II*, I found myself losing faith with a certain aspect of the main character as I continued further into the game.  Certainly it wasn’t about Ezio’s growth or abilities, because those were perfectly developed and played well in the game.  My concern was more about something that is constantly referred to by characters around Ezio, yet isn’t a factor in any parts of the game except for the beginning.

I’m talking about Ezio’s womanizing ways, of course.

I know what you’re all going to say.  “Kat, you’re such a perv.”  I know, I know.  I love a little (or a lot) of sexiness in video games.


Come on, shouldn't this guy get a little more female lovin'?

However, I feel I have a very valid point here.  That being, if Ezio is continually referred to as a womanizer, why don’t we see more womanizing in the game?!  Sure, characters may hint at it, but we need to see this acted out.  In fact, with all those courtesans around in all the towns, why can’t Ezio get distracted occasionally?  And maybe jump into a nearby house to take care of business?

Granted, I understand that Ezio’s on a revenge streak and may only have a mind for that.  But women love a man who’s on the run and is whole-heartedly focused on one thing.  They’d probably be throwing themselves at a young assassin with a fierce goal in mind.  Just look at any Bond movie.

Perhaps Ubisoft just didn’t want to push their limits.  As they’d already included that interactive sexy scene, they didn’t want to go overboard with the sex.

I still think that this limits the character that is Ezio.  And yes, I would like to see more romantic interactions for Ezio.  Because until then, he’s just a fraud.


*For an action game.  Mass Effect 2 is clearly the best as far as RPGs go.  Sorry, BioWare, I know I scared you for a minute there.

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Rating: 3.7/5 (6 votes cast)

There’s nothing worse for an achievement or trophy whore (see ‘achievement / trophy whore’ definition here) than when a game decides it’s a good idea to have some ridiculous type of collectible within the game as an achievement.  You know the type; those ridiculous pieces of paraphernalia that mean absolutely nothing to gameplay, storyline, or character development.  Nothing that furthers the actual plot of the game.  No, the only value to these random items is the achievement.

These things are as important to gameplay as the name of the designer who created Kratos’ hair.

…exactly.  They are that important.

God of War: Kratos

Why can't the flag achievements be as nonexistent as Kratos' hair?

I decided that I wanted to finish Assassin’s Creed before I started Assassin’s Creed II.  I know, I know, a little behind.  But I don’t mean story-line-wise.  I wanted to finish all the achievements.  I had pretty much all of them, except for the flag collections, Templar kills, and killing 25 guards.  After a few tries in which the guards hysterically became scared of Atair and ran away from him, I was able to lure and kill enough guards to get the achievement.  Which left the achievements for flag collecting and Templar killing (which is essentially collecting).

I set myself up with the laptop and the game, referring to the laptop for the flag locations online.  First of all, what a time waster.  The flags are sometimes hidden in tricky locations, causing the player to hunt around an area.  Thank goodness for the ability to place a ‘Player Marker’, otherwise I’d be doomed.

Assassin's Creed Flag

These will haunt my dreams.

Secondly, the cities are BIG.  There are three districts, and two of the flag achievements require the player to hunt down 100 flags total, without keeping each district’s flags as a separate achievement.  As I’m going through Jerusalem, I check off each flag starting at 1 all the way up to 100, without skipping any so I don’t mess up the count.  This whole process probably took around 2-3 hours.  And before you go off and say ‘Wow, you must be the slowest player on the planet’, I just want to say that I get easily distracted and want to kill every guard I encounter.  Anyways, as I head to the 100th flag’s location, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I’m at 99 / 100 flags.  There’s 1 damn flag left.

And it’s not where the 100th flag should be.

I had a meltdown.  Threw the controller, swore like a sailor, ranted to Wadoobie about it.  Because there’s no way I’m spending that much time to go through all 100 flags a second time…just to find ONE MISSING FLAG.  No way!

So, to make myself feel better, I’m tossing AC1 aside and digging in to AC2 immediately.

But it would also help to hear other horror stories.  What’s given you the biggest headache?  Skulls, Packages, Flying Rats, Dog Tags, Gobbos, Audio Diaries?  Whatever your poison, I want to hear it.

Oh, and if you need help with flag locations, these AC maps are worthy of an Ass Stamp of Approval.


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Rating: 2.8/5 (12 votes cast)