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Progression in Dark Souls is done slowly and this is the way they intended it to be. Not every enemy is one you can kill. Sometimes it’s best to run. Sometimes it’s best to just steer clear. Sometimes you run in swinging. You will only ever learn which is correct by trying. Once you know you keep doing it until you have it down to a science. You learn the strengths and weaknesses and exploit them. This is not your game. You don’t get to play it your way. The only way to survive is to play it their way.
As we work our way up from the Firelink Shrine and past the aqueduct we’re quickly finding that being overwhelmed is something that Dark Souls will throw at us time and time again. From enemies hanging off the side of a railing to metal covered bulls to a dragon that decimates everything in it’s path the onset of Dark Souls will not pull any punches. However the ways to beat Dark Souls are not always contained within the game. Sometime you must look elsewhere to find the solutions. Dark Souls lives outside of the console. It permeates the world around you and ceases to be an RPG and starts to become a part of your life. It’s like that pet that you tried to hide from you parents or that naughty magazine you also tried to hide from your parents. You don’t want to admit that you’re looking for help but it’s the only way to survive.
It is for this challenge and totally different gameplay that we give Dark Souls a 5 out of 5
As I come home from work I’m struck with the humor behind the fact that I’m about to attempt to relax with Dark Souls. This is, after all, a video game that most people look at with some sense of woe and fear. However there is something calming about it. It’s a game where you pace yourself and take it slow. It’s not a game to rush headlong into. It takes thought, observation, and an overwhelming “never say die” attitude. It is this attitude that will continue to bring us back into the game.
As the second day begins in Dark Souls we find ourselves sitting at the Firelink Shrine. When we previously found a bonfire we were met with one option: Leave. Now we can level up, reverse hollowing, and kindle the bonfire. To kindle the bonfire we need specific items that we presently do not have, however when we do we will be rewarded with having more Estus Flasks filled. We don’t really need this at the moment so we can go on without worry. To reverse hollowing means your spend “Humanity” that you may have acquired to become human again. I couldn’t help but think of Bleach while seeing this.
Wait...a barrel that doesn't explode? What's going on here?
We find that there is little to no direction other than a nearby NPC telling us that we can either go up to ring a bell or down to ring a bell. Judging by the NPC saying something along the lines of “I wouldn’t go down there. Even if I had to I would avoid it,” then it would appear as though venturing downward would not, at this juncture, be prudent. With no map and no direction other than up or down we begin to survey the Dark Souls landscape.
One direction appears to be a series of ruins with that crow that brought us here sitting atop. Just to right of the ruins lies a mountain with a staircase going up. In the distance just beyond this staircase is an aqueduct. In the distance are glowing balls of light. This can only mean one thing. Goodies await. What treasures these are remains to be seen, however we know that no matter what they will remain there until we claim them. This is the direction we must be intended to venture toward.
Since the only direction thus far has led us to believe that we should climb upward in the direction of the aqueduct we decide to venture downward to see just what it is we’re supposed to avoid. As we navigate carefully down the spiraling walkway next to bonfire we find a small open section with a woman behind a metal gate. The gate doesn’t open and the woman doesn’t talk. What she does do is fortify Estus Flasks. Given that the materials required to do so are not with us we make a mental note of this and move forward. As we descend the side of this mountain we take note of just how narrow this walkway is.
This seems to be the case in Dark Souls more often than not. We don’t have an abundance of wide open spaces. For this reason we have to be mindful of our weapon selection. I made the fateful error in Demon’s Souls of not minding my weapons. I would just swing them wildly without a care in the world. My weapons would bang against any wall I came to. Eventually they broke. I did not have the souls to repair them. So there I am stuck in a harsh and unforgiving world without any weapons and no way to get new ones. I wasn’t strong enough to punch some souls out of enemies so after 15 hours of play…I had to start over.
This is not a mistake that anyone wants to make twice. Take my advice when I say be very careful where you swing your weapon. So far we have one longsword and a sword handle. While it’s not ideal, the sword handle is our default close quarter weapon. When need be we tap the right arrow button and swap weapons.
Okay, this time I'll try dancing for it THEN stab it in the neck.
Dark Souls is a video game that excels at making the gamer paranoid. Every tight corridor or open sided mountain is a potential for death. This downward spiraling mountain side pathway is no exception. After a very short walk we come to a level waiting just outside of a circular room. In the interest of exploring we enter the room. As we walk across the center we activate a switch in the floor and the walls around us begin to move up. We’re on an elevator moving further down. This won’t do at all. Once we reach the bottom we move right back up. There is exploring and then there is asking for an ass whooping.
During the ascent we notice a message on the ground that we hadn’t before. It seems to be facing off the side of the path. Expecting a “Nice View” message we are shocked to find “Ring Ahead”. Knowing that sometimes in Dark Souls paths are hidden right in the open a downward glance is made. Below us appears to be a small and very narrow path. Edging to the side careful not to overshoot the path we fall. To our death. We have just learned two lessons. 1.) You’re going to die. 2.) Not all messages tell the truth.
Once we come back at the bonfire we quickly work our way back to where we fell to touch our bloodstain and collect our souls. On top of this we plan to leave a scathing message declaring that one to be a liar. As we arrive at the place of our first demise, we scan our options to hunt for our message list and we notice that this time around, we don’t have one. We search high and low and find no way to leave a message.
Moving back up the mountain we are met once more with the option of “which way to go”. We could go the direction that we are lead to believe we should (up the mountain) or go explore the ruins. Once more we through caution to the wind and go exploring. Inside the ruins, tucked behind narrow corridors, and atop numerous stairs, we find multiple souls and something more important: our first Covenant. It takes talking to a him a few times but we are able to form our first Covenant in Dark Souls. This is important because in doing so we can begin to learn new miracles. At this stage we must not have met some prerequisite since we are unable to actually learn anything. But now we know where this man is.
As we pass through the ruins and through a rather serene looking pool we are met with a stairway overlooking a graveyard. As we stop and pause for a moment to survey what lays before us we wait for any hint of movement. There is nothing. The graveyard is strewn with shields, swords, and bones, but nothing is moving. Then suddenly we catch a glimpse of movement. However it is not something with the intent to harm. It is in fact the opposite. In Dark Souls, as in Demon’s Souls, you will see the actions of those that came before you. Those that do well are shown to you while those that perish require you to touch their bloodstain. What we see in the graveyard is the reassuring blue glow of a successful run. Atop a pile of discarded shields and bones we see a brave soldier slash his way to victory. We don’t know what’s out there yet. We just know that whatever it is, we are going to have to kill it.
Let's hope my sword kills flaming evil.
Slowly down the stairs we creep since moving too hastily into any situation can result in being surrounded with angry enemies. As we approach the bottom we see the bones start to move. This is what was being fought. We couldn’t see it because Dark Souls didn’t want us to yet. Once more we learn yet another lesson. Dark Souls will trap you. You have to be strong enough to take it on. With a few swings of our longsword we come to the realization that we aren’t strong enough to take on the two skeletons that are now before us with swords and shields. There is however a glowing orb that we want. Greed gets the best of us and we run on to collect the souls. As we grab for it more skeletons come to life and we double back rolling out of harms way. Then once more we see another glowing orb and make a mad dash for it sprinting all the way. As we run past the stairs that will lead us out we notice that even more bones are bouncing up to life. We are now being chased by multiple groups of skeletons that are far stronger than we. There is no making it out of this in one piece. Our only hope is make it to the NPCs on the off chance that they will help us survive.
We grab the last orb and once more roll to the closest thing we have to “safety” and find our way back to the initial stairway, skeletons hot on our heels. As we run through the shallow pool and into the ruins we look behind us to see if the skeletons have given up or are still in tow. As we figured they would be, they are behind us. We make our way back to the man with the miracles with whom we made our first covenant. He just stands there and watches as we fight a losing battle. We can either attempt to persevere or accept our fate and die. We never accept death and go down swinging as we are overrun with skeletons.
We soon come back to life at the bonfire nearby with a noticeable lack of skeletons. Having been two directions and not liked what we have found, we make our way up the mountain towards the aqueduct. Slowly once more we creep as we see three enemies. As the closest sits back and wanders on his own, another who was descending a set of stairs sees us and charges. We take a few steps back and wait to parry his attack. Success! Parry was made and riposte was successful. One down, two to go. We move to engage the closest enemy. He moves to take a large swing at us, opening up his chest for attack. We swing our sword in a flurry of sharp death. He falls and we focus on the knight sitting in the background next to the aqueduct.
What we don’t see is the enemy raining down fire from above. We are engulfed in flame as the knight approaches so we sprint back and take a hit of our Estus Flask. Once we engage the knight he is already swinging. We attempt to parry but are met with failure. He is going to town on us and the best we can hope for is to swing our sword and hope for the best. We somehow manage to bring him down but not before being brought near to death. Once more we must partake in the Estus Flask before turning our attention to the fire ball throwing villain atop the mountain. We wait and time our charge between his throws. As we run up to him and swing we notice that we didn’t pay attention. From behind us comes an enemy wielding an axe while from above comes another with a sword. Once more victory comes as a shock but not without a price. We cannot press forward like this. We can however see a few bright bulbs of light that offer us hope. We climb the aqueduct to collect souls and then see more down by the base. As we navigate back down we notice a third glowing orb in the distance on the far lower end of the aqueduct. Careful inspection of the nearest entry point to the structure yields a gap. Perhaps we missed a tutorial message, but at present we don’t have the slightest idea of how to jump.
But we know there is a way to get there. We climb back up and see a slight outcropping overlooking a narrow ledge in the structure. We drop onto it successfully and slowly and carefully work our way over to the body with the souls. We arrive there and to our surprise it’s not souls at all. It’s a ring that allows us to keep our souls on death. The caveat is that the ring will break once it’s used. One use, no more. We slip it on since we have a sneaking suspicion that we are not going to be making this jump to land successfully.
Once we respawn at the bonfire we know that we have a long way to go. We have died three times today but only once was it by the hand of an enemy. Tonight’s endeavors are at an end. Once more real life steps in and the dogs need tending to. Given the effectiveness of tonight’s performance day 3 will undoubtedly contain a fair amount of grinding.
There are few games that illicit the reaction that Dark Souls does with video gamers. It is feared and played with an overwhelming sense of trepidation and abject fear that some people vote to simply not play. In fact half the fun of Dark Souls is the sheer overwhelming emotion that can build up in the player. For this reason we’ve decided to document our reactions and feelings as we play Dark Souls.
As we pick up the collectors edition they were nice enough to upgrade every preorder to we initially notice that it is in fact a giant metal case. I find it strange that a video game that spends so much time telling you that it’s going to kill you doesn’t attempt to design it’s collectors edition into something resembling a casket. Dark Souls design notwithstanding the packaging presents us with our first challenge. While I may be alone in this I immediately had to resort to sharp implements to gain access to the game itself. The first challenge was met with a blade and we proved victorious.
Once the PS3 has been fired up and the game has been updated we find ourselves ready to create our character. Having played Demon’s Souls so wrongly by starting with a Wanderer as my first character (was not ready for the pain that ensued) I know better than to pick this class again. As I look through the list of what is available I settle on something simple: the Knight. Through the limited customization options I quickly get into the action. Granted this is not something to be considered a negative in that soon I’m sure I’ll be forgetting that I even have a face.
Little does that other guy know, I've been kicking his ass in a staring contest all night
As the game starts we find our character already dead and chained to a wall in a jail cell. The irony of this is as palpable as the smell of despair and sorrow in the prison that I am contained in. A game that tells you to prepare to die, even going so far as to claim that as the URL for the Dark Souls Website, starts you off already dead. Where Demon’s Souls starts you with weapons Dark Souls chooses to start you with nothing but the hilt of a sword. I am immediately paranoid as to what may wait for me as I leave my dank cell.
I am immediately comforted in knowing that the controls are virtually identical to those in Demon’s Souls. It’s like picking up an old RPG and being given a whole new story. I also see the familiar sites of messages strewn on the ground and as I read through one after the other it becomes abundantly clear that this is the tutorial stage. I’m learning how to swing my “weapon” at creatures who aren’t even attacking back. It’s okay though since the souls they give me on death are what I’m after here. After quickly dispatching three easy beings I’m met with a ladder and my first bonfire. Since we know that enemies respawn at bonfires we decide to explore the surrounding area a bit before resting. There is a large wooden door and a smaller metal door. The smaller door we are unable to open and nothing good can come of a large door so we sit and rest. Now comes time for a little grinding. Running from bonfire to starting cell and back we continually respawn enemies just to kill them. A sorrowful life they lead, to be sure, but their death serves a purpose. We don’t know what’s behind the large wooden door. We just know we want to be ready for it.
After twenty minutes of grinding we are ready to press on. As we open the door we’re struck with how well illustrated the weight of it is conveyed to the player. It is in this that Dark Souls does a phenomenal job of depicting the world around us. There is nothing simple and nothing easy. Even opening a door requires effort. Suddenly a large demon appears and slams the door behind us. In the distance we see another door open and messages written on the ground. “Run” they tell us so we do just that. After all we are armed with nothing but the handle of a sword. This is not known for its damage ability. We flee.
After fleeing the door behind us slams shut and we’re met with another bonfire so we rest for good measure. You never know what’s ahead so better safe than sorry. As we look around the room we see a small unassuming door with a message in front of it. Lessons learned in Demon’s Souls tell us to always be cautious of all new areas and don’t go running in.
We peer around the door while nestled safely next to it to find an archer taking aim at us. The message reads “get your shield”. On the ground a short run from us is a dead soldier with a light above him. This means he has something for us. It has to be the shield. We time our run between the arrow shots and as we get closer to the soldier we see a room next to him coming into view in the narrow corridor. Sanctuary. We dive into the room escaping a potentially harmful arrow. Sure enough the soldier has a shield for us. While not the greatest shield in the world, it’s still a shield. As we run back out to face the archer we charge him with our shield up and ready to take whatever he shoots. To our surprise he turns and runs. As we give chase he makes a sharp left and we give chase knowing that rushing headlong into anything is suicide.
And then we just make a tiny cut here, and here, and look! The dragon is now a bunny.
To our surprise this time it wasn’t. It was an easy kill and we backtrack to do some exploring. Through our exploring we find a longsword that is going to come in handy. Once we find all we can we make our way back to where the archer died and find the opening in the wall that was behind him. As we peer down through the drop before us we see the courtyard that contained the first bonfire. We see a very small drop so we take it and come off unscathed. We look at our new surroundings not fully confident that something isn’t about to come out and stab us in a very brutal way. As we stand overlooking the courtyard to our left is a corridor that leads to nothing more than a dead end. While we do not trust this “dead end” to be truly an end we do not know how to open it. To my right is two sets of stairs, one up and one down. Since down surely leads to the previously locked door in the courtyard we look up and begin our slow ascent up the stairs. Lessons learned from Demon’s Souls teach us that no stair case is without potential for peril.
Suddenly a flurry of curse words comes out as we see a boulder bearing down on us. We do not evade it. We also do not die. This boulder is needed however since behind it it has opened up a wall that contained a dying knight. He gives me a handful of Estus Flasks and tells me a tale of a dead man chosen to come back and save the world. We think he means us. We make our way out of this newly opened hole and we are met with the same two staircases. This time we choose down since last time up seemed to hurt. As I rest at the bonfire my health replenishes and my Estus Flasks fill up as well. Thanks Dark Souls for making this easier on us. These Estus Flasks contain health in times of need and the bonfire replenishes them for us. This kindness is unexpected and appreciated. After another 20 minutes of grinding from bonfire to starting cell we decide it’s time to see what’s up the stairs.
As we climb the stairs we see an enemy waiting for us with a sword in hand. Time to see if we can still parry and riposte. By waiting for the right moment we are able to deflect his attack with L2 and respond with a normal attack with R1. The enemy falls dead. It’s nice to know we can still pull that move off. As we press forward we see a message overlooking a view. Sure to know that it says something to the effect of “nice view” we see it as a trap but still move toward it regardless. Sure enough behind us we can hear the stringing of a bow. We dodge as quickly as possible fearing an arrow in the back. Two enemies with swords come charging at me. As we engage them real life steps in. My dog Maddox has taken my wife’s shoe and is now hitting me with it asking me to give chase. Since I can’t pause Dark Souls I do a dance between melee on the screen and commanding the dog to leave it. Maddox is an asshole. He doesn’t listen. He just wags his tail and looks at me lovingly. He’s lucky I love him so much. As we finish off the two sword wielding enemies and the archer we run back quickly to a point on the level where we know we won’t be hurt. I can then take on Maddox.
We’ve lost a little health so we take hit from an Estus Flask and press on to where we killed the Archer. As we overlook his corpse we read a few of the messages. One tells us that we can have a big hit on someone if we hit attack while falling. We can also do a jumping strong attack. Interesting. To our left is a layer of white fog while before us is an open room. We peer into the room to see a lone knight in the corner. As he approaches we attempt the parry and riposte move again only meet with total failure. He deals a heavy blow, but one we can recover from. After a close battle we dispatch him. We know that our path back to the bonfire is open so we take it and replenish health. We can only guess we are not going to like what’s about to happen through the foggy door so we grind for another 20 minutes. All this grinding is being done yet we have no way to actually level up. This is becoming increasingly frustrating. The pressing need to level up is becoming apparent however the lack of ability to actually do so is rather irritating. Since we can’t level up we now grind to work on timing and combat maneuvers. It’s never too soon to start getting better.
Fancy meeting you here.
Finally it’s time to go through the foggy door. As we push through below we see that large demon that we ran from earlier. Only this time all exits are sealed. We do our strong leaping attack off of the overlooking balcony on which we stand and it connects perfectly. Half of his health is now gone. The fight is going to be manageable. That is until he swings his club. It’s about this time that dodging and rolling becoming a necessary tactic. The moves on the screen are actually being translated to movements in my own physical body. My dogs are watching me. They seem to be judging me. I don’t care. I’ve come this far without dying and I don’t intend to start now.
After working our way behind the demon and dealing a few hits he spins and swings his club. Once more dodging and rolling must be done until we can work our way behind him once more and attack. This battle isn’t as hard as I felt it should be. Once he is dead we collect a key and return to the courtyard bonfire to heal.
Underneath the balcony where we launched our initial attack is another large door for us to move through. Once pressing through here we see a wide open world before us. We however are on a very narrow cliff. Messages tell us to keep moving. Atop the first hill and to the right is a baby bird asking us for “warm and soft”. Duly noted young feathered friend. With some exploring we’re able to find some souls and move toward the very top of the cliff on which we stand. Suddenly a giant raven appears and tells us we’ve been chosen. We’re taken away from this world and onto the next. With the prologue concluded I’m left to wonder just what the hell we were supposed to give that baby bird. I know we missed something but there’s no turning back. I’m fully engrossed in Dark Souls at this point.
We are dropped at a new Bonfire that finally allows us to level up. All the grinding has payed off for us. We’re now ready to kick ass and take names. But since the dogs need to play that shall have to wait until tomorrow.
Consider this the obligatory “Dark Souls is going to be the hardest blah you ever blah blah blah” statement of every Dark Souls post you read. As I said before I’m done cowering before Dark Souls. What I am however is overwhelmingly excited. When I stopped in to my local video game store to preorder it over the weekend the worker’s sentiment of “Oh aren’t you a glutton for punishment,” was quickly met with a response of “I can’t wait, lets do this!” However this sentiment of excitement is not without merit.
Demon’s Souls was quite highly rated and, as you can expect with the gushing reviews, it was a lot of fun to play. Dark Souls, being it’s “spiritual successor” should continue with the same play style and build upon everything we know and loved from the original. With less than two weeks to the release I’m doing everything I can go not get all fanboy on it. Then they go and start releasing the prologue a piece at a time, finally culminating in this glorious piece of cinematic ass kickery.
While it doesn’t shed any new light on the game it does give us an glimpse of the world we are about to enter into and and a bit of it’s history. I mean hey, it’s just a prologue. It’s not going to tell you everything you need to know. However when it comes to wanting more information we can absolutely thank the wonderful internet for keeping our appetites delightfully salivating for what’s to come.
Look! Obi-Wan can come back and help you fight.
Part of what made Demon’s Souls so entertaining and fun was the level of difficulty. It wasn’t a game that held your hand and lit the way with a bright and glowing yellow path. It didn’t have you surrounded by eight enemies who took turns attacking. It was a brutal onslaught of carnage and you either dealt it back ten fold or were left whimpering in the corner.
This is the ideology that Dark Souls is carrying through. While Dark Souls is a more of an open world style than Demon’s Souls (which was a dungeon crawler) and therefore based more in exploration than in following a set path through levels it shouldn’t be any less surprising. In fact this open and exploration aspect should be somewhat more appealing to the video gamer looking for something challenging. More than once Demon’s Souls had the hasty gamer yelling “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!” Rushing into any situation was foolhardy and quickly met with something you didn’t expect causing your intense pain. With an open world setting I absolutely expect to be scared to play at some point.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Max Parker caught up with Hidetaka Miyazaki and when asked about new players being able to pick it up and play it he gave the best advice anyone can give on Dark Souls and it’s brutal style:
…the difficulties in the game can be overcome by trial and errors as well as careful observation. A player does not have to be really good at playing an action game. All you need are observations and trial and errors. So people who did not play Demon’s Souls will be able to play this game for sure. Even though I am not good at playing an action game, game design was created so that even I can beat the game.
Just like in real life my friends will call me to help catch a rat. Great.
This is a game built to play through trial, error, and observation. It’s not a video game to run in, clear a room as quickly as you can, and then loot. This is an RPG unlike any you’ve ever played…unless you played Demon’s Souls. There are no parties, there are no bustling towns, safety is a concept hard to understand. In Dark Souls the only reprieve comes from bonfires. Again during Max Parker’s interview Hidetaka lets us know a little more about bonfires:
A player can use this Bonfire as a place to rest in the game. By lighting the Bonfire, a player can restore health gauge as well as recovering items and spells. Also Bonfire will work as a respawn point when a player dies in the game. Bonfire is placed in many places in Dark Souls’ extensive map. So, as a player proceeds in the game, a player will try to find a Bonfire to use as a next check point. Finally, the Bonfire has some emotional element as well. When you are resting by the Bonfire, you will see some other online players’ vague shadows resting by the same Bonfire. So you will feel that you are the not the only one trying to proceed in this fearsome world.
You are very alone in the world of Dark Souls where your only companions are the ghosts of other players and the things trying to kill you. Now that is not to say that Dark Souls doesn’t have it’s elements of multiplayer. In Dark Souls there is a “Covenant” system that acts like a guild that you swear allegiance to. This affords you certain benefits while pits you against other covenants. You’re no longer (as you could in Demon’s Souls) entering into games and attacking. It takes on a more role playing aspect through this since what covenant you chose to align yourself with effects the type of enemies you are seeing. This could also play into the “help” aspect as well. In Dark Souls you are allowed to summon two friends to help you through your game. These may be people you know, or people from your covenant, but either way odds are that at some point you are going to need them.
Dark Souls comes out October 4th. It’s scored a 37 (9/9/9/10) from Famitsu and general consensus now is favorable. The last real question you need to ask is are you the type of video gamer who meets a challenge head on or are you content to cower behind your easy settings and play a game that you know you can breeze through?
It’s not every day that a video game comes out and blatantly calls you out. It’s not every day that a video game steps up and says “Hey you. Yeah, you. I’m going to kill you. Over, and over, and over, and over. My sole purpose here is to punish you, but at the same time make you think that you enjoy it.” Dark Souls did just that.
Did you see what I saw? There are two things in this world I’m afraid of. 1.) Closets 2.) Oversize animals wielding obscenely large and deadly weaponry. Well lookie what we have here. A big damn wolf with an oversize claymore. Well shit. I mean how is that even going to possibly be a fair fight. To start with the wolf looks to be about four times your size. Add into that the fact that the sword he’s holding is something that could be used as a sled for the entire Griswold family, INCLUDING cousin Eddie’s brood.
I feel that the ending of the video appropriately summarizes what my October will like. When it flashes the word “fight” you’re inclined to think “oh how bad could it be?” If you’ve played Demon’s Souls then the next flash of “struggle” will make you think “okay yeah, pretty damn bad. Dark Souls isn’t totally heartless. It throws the word “endure” up there to give all video gamers hope. It’s like it’s saying “You can do it!” But it’s the final verb of “suffer” that really pisses me off.
I grew up in a family where the phrase “give in” doesn’t ever come about. The words “work with what you have” and “one way or the other its going to get done,” come up. But in my house the phrase you can’t do it is a challenge. The phrase “you’re not going to suffer” is a challenge that you can’t smile you ass off the whole way through. Well Dark Souls I was already going to play you. Hell I’m counting down the days. But now you’ve given me a new challenge. Smile my ginger ass off while doing it. No no, you go right ahead and have flaming spider try to walk down those stairs at 0:46 all slow and menacing. I don’t care Dark Souls. You go right ahead and have your leaping, screaming, pike wielding dragons, Dark Souls. I’m gonna come at ’em ’till they fall. Shouting all of Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” the entire damn time. Hell, I might make a club. The “We Shouted Louis Armstrong Lyrics While We Beat Dark Souls” club. May even make bad ass crushed velvet jackets for it. That’s right Dark Souls, crushed goddamn velvet. Nothing says bad ass like struttin’ in a crushed velvet jacket.
In fact, Dark Souls, at this point I think there’s only one thing left to say.