Posts Tagged ‘Alistair’

Scaredy Kat

In light that it was my birthday yesterday – whoo hoo!! – I decided that it’s about time to dedicate a post all about me.  And video games.  And well, since all you readers know about my obsession with RPGs, it’s time to tell you about another obsession.

Scary video games.

And yes, I know this is a pervy blog, but haven’t you all heard enough about my insatiable love of Alistair?

It’s strange because I really have a love-hate relationship with scary video games.  I love reading about them, about the plotlines and the strange freaky twists, but I absolutely, positively cannot play a scary game.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  It just doesn’t work.  I also don’t watch scary movies, but it’s honestly 10x worse when you’re actually playing a game.  Because a game will put you in the drivers seat and allow you to control the hunted and haunted, it’s much scarier than just watching something you can’t participate in.

Let me relay an experience I had just a few years ago.  I was probably 21 when BioShock came out, and a co-worker owned it and kept raving about it (not Wadoobie, by the way).  I’d heard about how great it was, but I hadn’t actually learned anything regarding what the game really was about.  So I asked my co-worker if I could borrow it, and he obliged.  Later that night, I sat down to play, ready for an amazing game.  The eerie Start menu had me a little on edge, but I settled into the opening sequence fairly easily.  I’m sure everyone remembers how the original BioShock starts?  You’re on a plane, looking at a book and perhaps a picture, and then – *BOOM* – explosions, and your plane goes down in the ocean.  Okay, swimming around in the water isn’t too bad…man is it just me or does this guy breathe really heavily?… and then I found the structure.  And then I walked down.  The record ‘Under the Sea’ plays with a crackling, static-y tone and continues to give the off kilter feeling that something isn’t right with this picture.

Click for BioShock's Intro

And then I, like all players of Bioshock, took mini submarine down.  As you float by, your view allows you to see the ocean creatures, and then the majestic city of Rapture as you approach.  Of course, as you get closer, you realize that maybe Rapture isn’t so Majestic after all.

Click for BioShock Intro Part 2...aaaaand amp up the creepiness

When you arrive at your dock, you can’t see much.  But what you can see…is horrifying.  The person sent to check you out is killed by someone who sounds and moves like a crazy person.  And then when that crazy person notices you, and jumps on your sub and starts scratching away, well.  It’s pretty obvious.  Anywhos, so when I got to that part, I was hyperventilating.  Yeah, I’m not so good at scary.  I paused the game and literally threw the controller away from me.  I couldn’t handle it.  I jumped up and walked away from the tv, shaking.

However, I had some friends come over later and they started playing it, and I was (sort of) okay with just watching it.  If it got too freaky I would jump up and walk away for a little bit.  And then, intrigued by the interesting storyline, I looked up information on the game online.  I read every single one of those radio log entries.  It was fascinating; but there was no way I could play it myself.

Look, it's Kat playing BioShock!

So what’s wrong with this picture?  Actually controlling the character and the game and encountering all these scary things is too much for me, but I’m okay with watching others, or watching a clip online (with the sound off), or reading about the storyline.  (Eternal Darkness is really interesting – as are all the ‘Sanity Effects’ – what a great idea by Silicon Knights)  In fact, I’m obsessed with reading about scary games.  I just won’t play them.  Ever.

I guess I’m just a Scaredy Kat.

-Kat

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BioWare: This Dragon Age 2 Post is for You

Hi, BioWare.  It’s me, Kat.  Your faithful follower and devotee of every game (*ahem* mostly) you put on the market.  You know that I love you (see ‘An Ode to BioWare‘).  But, why, oh why, do you continue to toy with my heart?

You know – I’m 99.9% sure you know – that we here at Polish the Console are waiting with bated breath for the next Dragon Age release.  We are on pins and needles.  We’re dancing with impatience, much like a small child will dance when he or she needs to use the restroom.  We’re on the edge of our seats.  And yes, I understand that we will be feeling all those cliches until March 2011 when Dragon Age 2 is released.

Look! We found Morrigan in DA2!

But with the news we’ve recently heard, I have to say I’m already upset.  First of all, as presented in Wadoobie’s post, you can only be a human, and your human character can only be named Hawke.  Well that just really pisses me off.  I like Avaline (even if others don’t).  Yes, she’s a human, but one of the great things about Dragon Age: Origins was the fact that you literally were starting your character from scratch.  As Wadoobie said, you get to feel so immersed in this character that you’ve created because have brought them up from nothing.  You really feel like you have a unique character.

Giving us a template, telling the players, “You’re playing as a human!  We’ve recorded a voice!  And his or her name is Hawke, no matter what!”  Well damn.  Do we get to at least choose what the character looks like?  Wadoobie is right; this feels exactly like Mass Effect.  …wait, does that mean Jennifer Hale is voicing the female character?  Okay, half point in the positive.

Another thing.  Directly from the BioWare Dragon Age 2 site comes this quote –

“Think like a general and fight like a Spartan with dynamic new combat mechanics that put you right in the heart of battle whether you are a mage, rogue, or warrior.”

Meet your Dragon Age 2 character.

Fight like a Spartan?  In absolute truth, I just watched 300 yesterday.  BioWare, if you’re going to reveal this little gem, I expect to see oiled-up men in the background clothed in nothing but a minuscule loincloth, with glistening six pack abs.  Kinda like the way Alistair looks when you unequip all his armor and weapons.  Seriously though, ‘fight like a Spartan’ kinda scares me.  It makes me imagine that I’ll be playing Dynasty Warriors rather than Dragon Age.

My final comment?  Romance, tenting.  Don’t worry BioWare, I trust you.  I believe you’ll do the right thing and include the romance aspect, like you always do with the major releases.  Notice I said major, not all.  I will exclude expansions and DLC from this topic.

Don’t let me down, BioWare!

-Kat

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Dragon Age Awakening: The Tragic Tale of Keenan

BioWare.  I love you.  And I can’t wait to hear what you’re doing at E3.  BUT – I have a complaint.

To be honest, at first, I thought it was funny.  But now it’s starting to bug the heck out of me.

Remember Jukka, Legion of the Dead member with Sigrun? Yeah, he'll die right after this conversation like Keenan.

What’s up with the characters you meet along your journey, let’s say Keenan from Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening, who are injured and DIE INSTANTLY AFTER YOU FINISH THE CONVERSATION WITH THEM?  WTF?

“My name is Keenan.  My legs are crushed.  I want vengeance on the darkspawn who did this to me, and I want you to take my wedding ring back to my wife.  What’s that, you say?  You might be able to carry me out of here to safety for me to see my wife again?  Oh no, I think I’ll be very tragic and say, ‘I’ll slow you down too much!’.  And then, I’ll die immediately when you’re done talking to me and be a cold, lifeless figure on the ground, unmoving and tragic.”

Yeah.  So immediately after that ridiculous conversation, Keenan in nothing but a dead body sprawled on the ground.  Really?!  He didn’t seem like he was that badly injured.  Just some crushed legs!  I know that must be painful but was he really on the verge of death while having this conversation?  You would think there would be some type of indication, perhaps the ever-fatal death rattle cough.

Not to mention, the whole point of meeting him is to get his quest, which is to get his wedding ring back from the darkspawn and return it to his wife.  So, you’re telling me that this guy had absolutely no will or resolve, even after I suggested it, to try and escape with us to return to his wife HIMSELF?  Now that’s just kinda sad.  Although given that we discovered his wife with another man, maybe it was better for poor Keenan’s heart that he didn’t make it back.

Meow! You don't want to see me coming for you...

Keenan isn’t the only instance of someone dying immediately after talking to them.  There are plenty of other times that you seem to get there, just in the nick of time, to have a brief conversation with them and then they die.  It’s like you have some creepy ability to kill people who are hurt every time you finish a conversation.  Kinda like that cat Oscar in the nursing home who would curl up next to the people who were about to die. Seriously, what’s up with that?  It bothers me mainly because I tend to be very chatty in video games – I want to talk to everyone and know everything they can possibly say.  So if I missed a few dialogue options in the first conversation with the dying person, it drives me nuts that I can’t continue talking to them to ask the few more questions I’d like to ask.

Hopefully Ser Pounce-a-Lot doesn't have the same effect as Oscar

Going back to Keenan, I also was a little upset that I couldn’t talk to him further because, frankly, I thought he was kinda hot.  He had the Alistair haircut, and had a sexy voice.  Tall, dark and handsome!  Err…maybe not tall…as his legs were crushed.  Oops.  Not like I was interested in tenting (I mean, I do have a verrrrry sexy King aka Alistair waiting for me when I get home), but hey, a little flirting while I’m feeling so deprived of the hubs wouldn’t hurt.

-Kat

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Video Game Pin Ups: Alistair

As I’m sure everyone is aware, I am in absolute love Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins.  He’s cheeky, British, sarcastic and yet charming.  What’s not to love?  BioWare is known for making deep and interesting characters, and Alistair is definitely an interesting and often humorous companion.

Ass Stamp

We approve, Alistair. We approve.

Not only that, but if you’re female, you can hardly disagree that this guy is attractive.  He gives you a rose!  He doesn’t take advantage of you, but waits until he knows he is in love with you before tenting!  He talks about ‘licking a lamppost in winter‘!  He has an accent!  And best of all, his body is as chiseled as stone itself!  Err, that is, if you discovered you can remove their clothing…

…is it weird that I had my character and Alistair talk to each other in their skivvies?

Anyways, in light of the fact that Alistair is completely Ass Stamp Worthy, I thought it was only fair that we kick off our very first PtC Weekly Video Game Pin Up with my favorite Dragon Age romance partner – Alistair.  Enjoy it, ladies!!  (and gentlemen, if you swing that way).

-Kat

Alistair - Dragon Age Origins

Wouldst thou like to take a gander up my frock?

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