Posts Tagged ‘ass stamp of approval’

Video Game Pin Ups: Juliet Starling

Juliet Starling Lollipop Chainsaw - Ass Stamp of Approval

Let’s just be honest with each other. Did you really think we were going to be bringing up Juliet Starling without rolling her into the Video Game Pin Up section?

And we have a new Ass Stamp!

In Julet’s present bio on Lollipop Chainsaw’s Homepage we get to learn a little more about our zombie killing cheerleader. Her favorite food is Strawberry Lollipops, her favorite weapon is a chainsaw and her hobbies are cheerleading, karaoke, and dismembering zombies. I have to ask though, where some someone find a chainsaw covered in hearts? That’s down right adorable.

In Lollipop Chainsaw we will see more than just Juliet as she’s joined by family, her boyfriend, and an abnormally animated severed head. We also know that once in game Juliet’s favorite food will also help supply her with health. Given that this is by the same people who gave us No More Heroes I think it’s safe to assume there will be more than one joke about “sucking” involved.

Juliet Starling High Kick Lopplipop Chainsaw

If she's not 18 then this could be awkward

Lollipop Chainsaw Juliet Starling Jumping

Does anyone else see a joke coming from a mile away?

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New Character James Vega in Mass Effect 3 Reaction

Anything new that comes out about the final episode in the trilogy that is Mass Effect gets me excited.  So when I saw that images of the new character, James Vega, had been released, I was eager with anticipation.  Finally we’d see the new guy joining the Mass Effect 3 crew!  What would this guy look like?  I was personally hoping it was that Sam Worthington look-alike from the ME3 trailer (who was kinda hot).  And if it WAS that guy, well.  Sorry Kaidan, I’m dropping you for this new guy.  Well, you might make it into my second playthrough.

Can you see it? Or am I crazy? Heck, even the setting is similar.

Needless to say, when I actually found the picture of this new James Vega character, I was shocked.  Here’s a pic:

Let's just say he won't be winning any Ass Stamps of Approval anytime soon.

Yeah, that’s not exactly what I was hoping for.  At.  All.  First of all, his face… in my opinion, it kinda reminds me of a pig.  Yeah, that’s not good.  He actually looks like a guy I went to high school with.  That I didn’t really like.  I can’t stand that haircut, either.  And the tattoos on his neck?  Ew.  Now let’s move down.  His neck sits between two massive hunks of meat which might be called shoulders.  But it actually makes him look like he’s constantly shrugging.  He’s muscular, which is great, but there’s a line between sexy and scary bodybuilder types.

But I suppose there’s more to a guy than his looks.  Don’t judge a book by its cover.  So I’ll have to wait until March to learn about his personality.  Because honestly, that’s the only thing that’s gonna save this guy.  Unless BioWare decides to edit him a bit.  Or a lot.

However, I’m also wondering how great his personality will be.  BioWare stated that they wanted him to be a newcomer to the story, so he won’t have a lot of knowledge of politics and whatnot.  He’s an ‘experienced’ military man, but he hasn’t seen the darker side of the world.  So, tell me, just how experienced can you be if you haven’t been into some seedy places?  In light of all this, congratulations BioWare, you did well in creating a complete meathead (meatbag) with little to no experience in the world.

It looks like we’ll just have to wait until March to see what this James Vega guy is really about.  And who knows?  He could charm me into thinking he’s attractive.  He could become the next Alistair.  But I highly doubt it.


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Okay, mistakes were made. But what were they?

I read a post by Jim Sterling on GameFront that got me thinking about journalism and popularity contests. The very nature of Journalism is a popularity contest. We report what people want to read. Rarely does mind blowing journalism pop up that shakes the core of an industry. People write things to put proverbial butts in the proverbial seats. It’s why entities like Google and Bing exist in the first place; to wade through the BS and find the core of the information.

reddit wallpaper

Reddit, Digg, Twitter, N4G, hell even Facebook are asking to be constant targets of blackhat SEO tactics in the video game world to help push a site up in both rankings and pageviews. This isn’t the first time that something like this has been done and it certainly will not be the last.

The websites in question absolutely didn’t keep a close enough eye on their brand to make sure that its integrity was upheld in the online communities. They failed on that and failed big. You have to watch what people say, do, and communicate with or about your property while online. Their crime is piss poor brand management.

However they all owned up to it. Yeah GamePro had fun with it and more power to them.

It’s definitely true that we’ve had some power users recently spamming content on our behalf. We have already stepped in and asked those people not to do this in future.

The reality of the situation is pretty straightforward – Reddit can be gamed, it was gamed by people on our behalf, and those people got busted. We take full responsibility for engaging those people. And yes, we’re apologizing because we got busted. Damn you. We’d have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids. So give us the kicking we deserve, and we’ll look forward to seeing what the conspiracy theorists will come up with.

We’re hoping that the more reasonable of you will respect our honesty regarding our deferred dishonesty, but we’re sure some people will run riot with it, which is to be expected – and in some places celebrated – on the Internet. Ultimately, we respect Reddit and its community, at least the ones who don’t live under a bridge and forget to take their meds. We also believe in our content, but in future we want you, not spammers, to be the judge of it.

A Statement from GamePro *But not verified as GamePro

A long standing source of journalism shouldn’t have to grovel at the feet of the overly opinionated online denizens that are so quick to issue a verbal smack down under the anonymity of the internet when they find an opinion that makes them feel that they have been the least bit befouled. Was anyone really hurt? You got to read something you may have enjoyed. If you didn’t enjoy it then okay. Is your life any worse by it?

I don’t blame the video game websites for wanting to perform better and get bigger numbers. That’s half the fun of a website. It’s the reason they exist. If they didn’t then they wouldn’t be able to employ much of a staff and you wouldn’t have seen them in the first place.

reddit downvote

Maybe you should downvote a little more.

I also don’t blame “MasterOfHyrule” for doing it. He got free stuff and enjoyed it. Can you blame him? Apology accepted. I would wager that well over 80% of gamers lashing out at this situation would have done the same thing. Forgive and move on. It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s easy to hide behind your scruples until the situation is presented to you. Granted he did it to an absolutely staggering degree and when caught he reacted rather juvenile in his attempts to discredit but ultimately he owned up as well.

As a gamer, a website owner, and a full time SEO I admit that I see problems like this from a very different view. What I have yet to see and what would ultimately impress upon me a wonderful and much needed apology is a “we may want to update how we rank things” from Reddit. It is absolutely, as Jim put it, a popularity contest. But what is the best gauge of popularity?

I don’t want anyone thinking I’m saying Reddit is bad, evil, or in any way shape or form anything other than a delight and a phenomenal way to spend an entire day. I’m simply saying that if it wasn’t so easy to game then perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

Nobody in this dance is as nefarious as online sentiment would make them out to be. They are nothing more than symptoms and effects of a much larger problem. The question is how does a website guard against being gamed for the purposes of personal benefit? Simply put, it can’t. Everything can be gamed. It’s the reason the big players don’t release their ranking algorithms.

Until we find a way to measure popularity and validity without influence you will continue to be gamed. You may not notice it. You may not see it. In some instances you may not even mind it. But you will be gamed. Sucks don’t it?

Afterthought Edit:

Mad props to Deimorz for not just noticing something was up but also for sticking to their guns. Fairly impressive. You get our “Ass Stamp of Approval” for the week.

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Video Game Pin Ups: Nathan Drake

For this week’s Video Game Pin Up, I decided to choose someone whose roguish charm, rugged look and adventuring ways remind me a bit of Harrison Ford’s Indiana JonesNathan Drake, main character of the Uncharted series, definitely fits the bill of a sexy, sarcastic adventurer.  The award-winning Uncharted games would be nothing without their likable and relate able main character, Nathan Drake.

Mmm, man with a gun and still a sexy little smirk.

And of course, for us ladies, there’s the romance aspect.  Drake is great fun to play as, with his agility allowing death-defying leaps; but what’s better than a little heat brewing between two characters?  In Uncharted 2, sex is handled maturely, and adds depth to the story without seeming like the writers were snickering behind their hands when they added the scene.

Side note – Alistair‘s voice (well, Steve Valentine‘s voice) is totally in this game as Harry Flynn.  Isn’t it weird to hear Alistair talking in Uncharted 2?!  And Morrigan, aka Claudia Black, is also in the game as Chloe Frazer.  What the heck?!  Do they just rotate these excellent voice actors around from game to game??

Ass Stamp

We're happy to see YOU, Nathan Drake.

So, for Nathan Drake’s charisma, athleticism and pleasing appearance, he rightfully earns himself a spot on the Video Game Pin Up list, and our very own Ass Stamp of Approval.


He looks ready for ACTION.

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Video Game Pin Ups: Rikku

Final Fantasy X was a phenomenal specimen of both story and beauty when it hit the PlayStation 2. Contained within was yet another specimen of beauty. Within the world of Spira was a race of people known as the Al Bhed. They were a feared and hated people because of their open and extensive use of Machina and rightfully so! Seriously, who likes to use machines?!?!?!

Sorry internet I didn’t mean it.

Rikki Final Fantasy X

First appearance of Rikku. Who wants to translate that into Al Bhed?

If a normal denizen of Spira were to lay eyes on one specific Al Bhed, however, I’m sure they would all change their tune.

Rikku is a spunky little Al Bhed who displays an uncanny ability to either:

A.) Hold her breath for a ridiculously long time

B.) Breathe without the normal use of her mouth.

Either way it makes her go from hot to hotter in a fraction of a second. Mix that with the fact that she’s a forbidden race of people and the hotness just keeps rising.

We first meet her when Tidus is lost and confused in a brave new world. He gets captured by the Al Bhed and held on their ship. While the crew is content to leave him on deck alone to starve, one lone individual decides to show kindness to the stranger. Sure you can’t understand a word she’s saying, but you just know she’s a hottie.

But this isn’t the only game in which we find this weeks Ass Stamp of Approval winner.

Rikku Final Fantasy X-2

Rikku: as she is seen in Final Fantasy X-2

She also has the distinction of being one of two people to be heavily prominent in the first ever Final Fantasy direct sequel, Final Fantasy X-2. In X-2 she’s still an Al Bhed, but now they are more tolerated and welcomed by the people. Probably the Rikku hotness won them over.

While she’s not as bundled up as the first go round, she can change costumes and show off a variety of…lest just call them talents.

For this reason Rikku is this weeks Ass Stamp of Approval: Video Game Pin Up winner.

I think I can speak for most when I say: “Rumo csugac e fuimt mega du pyhk dra ramm uid uv Rikku”

Ass Stamp

You go Rikku

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