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Scott! Hey SCOTT!! I’m over here! Look at me Scott. Scott god dammit stop looking around and look me in the eyes! This is both maddening and pretty darn awkward.
I mean it, it’s almost as if the video game is so ashamed of you for not looking half as good as it that it refuses to look at you. Is there something wrong with me? Is it because I haven’t showered yet? This week?
Dragon Age: Origins at least attempts to trick you into thinking its not loading. Well, unless you see the screen at the top of this post. What they do is drip blood on a map as you traverse the desolate expanse between towns. Anyone who has played knows that you spend a lot of time traveling. Always moving, always walking. While they get ready to load the next town, and often cut-scene, you are shown the following map of Ferelden:
Who keeps dripping blood on the map?
On this map as you move from town to town you are followed by a rather dubious trail of blood. Who keeps dripping this blood? Are they okay? Do they need a doctor? I may have a potion or two I can use to help. Listen, I have an abundance of Injury Kits in my ruck sack. I am not going to use all of them why don’t you have one. If it can cure a gouged eyeball, or cracked skull i’m pretty sure your messy little ailment will be no trouble at all for it. Please? If not can you please stop looking at the map with me? I don’t want to catch what you have.
Devil May Cry 4 set a new standard in ridiculous load screens. Anyone who owns a Playstation 3 knows exactly what I mean. You can’t play the video game without installing it. This is supposed to help cut down on load times. What we instead recieve is the most ridiculous load time ever seen in video game history.
If you don’t know what I mean I have a video for you:
Yes you read that time right. Seven…and a half…long….minutes.
At least they tell you the story so far so you’re not totally lost, but still. Seven minutes of loading. This may very well be the longest loading screen I’ve ever seen.
Let us know your favorite/most hated loading screen below. Who knows, you may just win something!