Posts Tagged ‘Nintendo’

Ubisoft Decides it’s Time to Make Some Awkward Moments with We Dare

We Dare for Wii and PS3

There I was sitting at my desk. A client had just unraveled a mat to be used for beer pong (yes I am 100% serious) and I thought “This could be the most amazing / awkward moment of my day.”  I finished my meeting discussing the product in question and flicked on my computer monitor. I checked Twitter and saw something. Something that made me so very very wrong.

I won’t lie to you I really didn’t watch it at first. I just had it up on a screen to my right while I looked at marketing figures, but I found the song catchy. I finally glanced over and what I saw meant that I had to hit the “restart” button. This is an advertisement for a rather adult looking video game for the Wii and PS3. I became intrigued. I was seeing “We Dare” from Ubisoft. According to the information on the video:

We Dare is a sexy, quirky, party game that offers a large variety of hilarious, innovative and physical, sometimes kinky, challenges. The more friends you invite to party, the spicier the play!

What did I see? Well allow me to share:

Update: Apparently the video we had wasn’t working…lets try an alternate source.

A few comments on We Dare: Those girls are way more into the spanking than the guys are, however the guys are far more eager to strip down. This flies in the face of everything I learned in college. Also why are they nuzzling a Wiimote? Thats just not sanitary. Did they use a bleach wipe before playing? Please tell me they will after. If they have kids then there are going to be some interesting questions like “why is the Wiimote sticky?”

Finally the video brings us to one final question: what are those “Parental Codes”? Well that’s the easy part. What we have is some bonus content that really only creates more questions. Join me shall you as we watch and ask the questions that come to mind of an Ohio ginger as he watches videos for We Dare.

We Dare: Bonus Video 1 – The Group Effort

So this video game can lead to orgies? Well that doesn’t sound like bad thing per se, however if Chasing Amy taught me anything it’s that behavior such as multiple partners can really take its toll on a relationship. I hope they set up some ground rules before engaging in that. Otherwise knock your socks off as well as the socks of at least two other people. Lets face it if you can’t do that then maybe you should just stick to one at a time.

We Dare: Bonus Video 2 – The Awkward Moment

Those two gentleman sure do look left out. They look downright sullen. They got left by the wayside while their dates adjourned to what we assume is the boudoir. You can tell that neither of them really knows what to do. In a desperate attempt to entertain himself one suggests that they nuzzle the Wiimote again. They are clearly not into one another or else they would be having some fun of their own. How about this as an option, try Wii Sports. I’ve wasted a few hours with the Home Run Derby. Guys there is nothing wrong with changing video games. Hell, if the other guy just wants to end the gaming and you’re not ready throw in Twilight Princess or hell, Animal Crossing. Still board, watch a movie, the Wii has Netflix!

Still not what you want? How about you knock on the door and ask if they need anything. Man up, engage the situation. What’s the worst thing that happens? They say no. Do something other than sit around like a pair of tools, no wonder your women don’t need you!

We Dare: Bonus Video 3 – The Unwelcome Guests

Okay one of  three things is going on here. Either their partners have left them for the company of another, their friends are in their bedroom, or they are really overstaying their welcome. If it’s the third option then take the damn hint you two. When the hosts go to bed for the night that’s typically a sign to put down the bean dip, flip off the TV, and hit the road. I assume there’s bean dip. If there isn’t then it’s not that much of a party. If it’s door number two then they are entirely too accommodating to their guests. Know when to draw the line and say no. Also their friends are assholes. Seriously, there are certain things that shouldn’t be done  in a friend’s bed. Their guest beds, okay. Just make sure to let them know to wash the sheets before you leave.

If they have in fact decided to switch partners, which the start of the first video would allude to, then I think there is a tremendous problem going on here. Ubisoft has decided that they want to say to hell with endorsements of conventional relationships. Lets really take things to the next level. We’ve done the monogamy thing. We like it. Not always for everyone but hey, more power to you if it is. Let’s try to be swingers. Swingers who can’t do this kind of thing without the help of video games.

However once again I’m left to wonder, why the hell are you just sitting on the sofa? What’s so wrong with you that you decide “No thanks, I don’t want to have fun. I’m cool having an awkward staring contest with everything in the room OTHER than the person sitting next to me.” You’re adults. Grow a pair and have some fun.

Either way someone is going to hear “We have to talk” in the morning and that will not be a fun conversation.

We Dare: Bonus Video 4 – The It’s About Damn Time You Figured it Out

Oh god no. It’s these two idiots again. What the hell are they waiting for an invitation? Oh…they were…they really are a couple of tools. Protip fellas, if she has to invite you into the bedroom, you’re really in over your head. Not in a good way either.

Given that this is a Europe only release for the PS3 and Wii it looks like over here in the States we won’t have to worry too much about strange awkward relationship moments. Just the normal awkward relationship moments.

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Video Games: What is beating a game anymore?

A few weeks back my family and I were having a discussion about video games. I was going on a rant about how Heavy Rain was amazing for the sheer fact that it had so many potential outcomes. I made the mistake of saying “…the first time I beat Heavy Rain…” and the question was asked “Well…if you can have so many different endings then what constitutes beating a video game?”

Mario Brothers Box Art

Back when the only decision was to jump now...or jump now

Back when I was a young whipper snapper the 8-bit Nintendo came out. We were shown a world of plumbers, pipes, and princesses with a very definite beginning, middle, and end. Even as gaming progressed video games had very specific and classic sense of novelization that took the user through a world that they had little real control over. Yes one could argue the point that the death of the main character was in fact a decision that a player could make that could indeed affect the outcome of a video game. However the main point holds true that you had to live within the confines of the main character and do what needed to be done to progress to the next level…literally.

As gaming went on it never changed. Then we began to see video games like the first Black and White and The Sims which allowed to user to make some decisions or (in the case of The Sims) all decisions that affected the life of the character. This concept was revolutionary but seemingly slow to reach maturity. In fact it may still be in its maturation phase.

Video games like Fable offered a very distinct ability to play in a variety of ways. Whichever path you chose to take (be it good or evil) would have an effect on those around you. More specifically how they reacted to you and interacted with you. If you want to grow devil horns and have everyone run away screaming, kick every man, woman, child, and chicken you see. But lets be honest…who didn’t love a good Chicken Kickin’ every now and again?

Video games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age: Origins, while not the first, were quite good at establishing very distinct paths of right and wrong. You actions and reactions altered how your party interacted with you, or even hung around your character. The downside is that you could clearly see which path you were going to take. You could easily mold your character into the saint or bastard you wanted them to be without much of a challenge.

Then comes a video game like Nier. Nier’s beauty is not in its imagery (far from it) but in it’s ability to coerce the user into playing again once the game has been beaten. It tells more of the story, provides more of a background. While it doesn’t force you to make decisions on the outcome, it (at the very least) makes you question if you’ve actually beaten it, or merely completed it.

Heavy Rain decisions

Heavy Rain's decisions can be confusing yet have strong outcomes

With video games like Heavy Rain the player has the ability to totally help or hinder the goals of the characters they control. While there are a finite number of endings, it is still a rather lengthy endeavor to witness all potential outcomes. So does beating the game mean seeing an ending? Does it mean seeing the specific ending you were attempting to see? The trick is that there are no right or wrong choices. There are simply choices. You won’t know what the outcome of your actions are until it’s all said and done. Ultimately this is part of what made it so interesting to play.

Shortly after I had this conversation I noticed a post that showed up on Wired by Jonathan Liu titled “Why aren’t games about winning anymore?” and it got me curious. Is this never ceasing quest for achievements and trophies a byproduct of or a reason for the ability to play a game multiple ways. Either way I agree that (at least what I took away was) video games today are a little too much about the achievements/trophies than actually whoopin’ the piss out of a green fire breathing dragon…turtle thing that stole a princess. While the story wasn’t very robust I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a blast to play.

Am I just one of a few rare holdouts who say “beat a game” in world where “finishing a game” is more appropriate? Is there a Facebook fan page for people like me?

And Jonathan, about your removal of the line that games today were made for an “ADHD crowd” I would just like to say that as someone who was diagnosed with ADHD almost 20 years ago that line was perfectly fine, and you needn’t worry about uptight readers who don’t like it. I found it to be a very apt and poignant critique on how video games are quick to dole out rewards for virtually nothing.

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