Posts Tagged ‘Uk’

Ubisoft Decides it’s Time to Make Some Awkward Moments with We Dare

We Dare for Wii and PS3

There I was sitting at my desk. A client had just unraveled a mat to be used for beer pong (yes I am 100% serious) and I thought “This could be the most amazing / awkward moment of my day.”  I finished my meeting discussing the product in question and flicked on my computer monitor. I checked Twitter and saw something. Something that made me so very very wrong.

I won’t lie to you I really didn’t watch it at first. I just had it up on a screen to my right while I looked at marketing figures, but I found the song catchy. I finally glanced over and what I saw meant that I had to hit the “restart” button. This is an advertisement for a rather adult looking video game for the Wii and PS3. I became intrigued. I was seeing “We Dare” from Ubisoft. According to the information on the video:

We Dare is a sexy, quirky, party game that offers a large variety of hilarious, innovative and physical, sometimes kinky, challenges. The more friends you invite to party, the spicier the play!

What did I see? Well allow me to share:

Update: Apparently the video we had wasn’t working…lets try an alternate source.

A few comments on We Dare: Those girls are way more into the spanking than the guys are, however the guys are far more eager to strip down. This flies in the face of everything I learned in college. Also why are they nuzzling a Wiimote? Thats just not sanitary. Did they use a bleach wipe before playing? Please tell me they will after. If they have kids then there are going to be some interesting questions like “why is the Wiimote sticky?”

Finally the video brings us to one final question: what are those “Parental Codes”? Well that’s the easy part. What we have is some bonus content that really only creates more questions. Join me shall you as we watch and ask the questions that come to mind of an Ohio ginger as he watches videos for We Dare.

We Dare: Bonus Video 1 – The Group Effort

So this video game can lead to orgies? Well that doesn’t sound like bad thing per se, however if Chasing Amy taught me anything it’s that behavior such as multiple partners can really take its toll on a relationship. I hope they set up some ground rules before engaging in that. Otherwise knock your socks off as well as the socks of at least two other people. Lets face it if you can’t do that then maybe you should just stick to one at a time.

We Dare: Bonus Video 2 – The Awkward Moment

Those two gentleman sure do look left out. They look downright sullen. They got left by the wayside while their dates adjourned to what we assume is the boudoir. You can tell that neither of them really knows what to do. In a desperate attempt to entertain himself one suggests that they nuzzle the Wiimote again. They are clearly not into one another or else they would be having some fun of their own. How about this as an option, try Wii Sports. I’ve wasted a few hours with the Home Run Derby. Guys there is nothing wrong with changing video games. Hell, if the other guy just wants to end the gaming and you’re not ready throw in Twilight Princess or hell, Animal Crossing. Still board, watch a movie, the Wii has Netflix!

Still not what you want? How about you knock on the door and ask if they need anything. Man up, engage the situation. What’s the worst thing that happens? They say no. Do something other than sit around like a pair of tools, no wonder your women don’t need you!

We Dare: Bonus Video 3 – The Unwelcome Guests

Okay one of  three things is going on here. Either their partners have left them for the company of another, their friends are in their bedroom, or they are really overstaying their welcome. If it’s the third option then take the damn hint you two. When the hosts go to bed for the night that’s typically a sign to put down the bean dip, flip off the TV, and hit the road. I assume there’s bean dip. If there isn’t then it’s not that much of a party. If it’s door number two then they are entirely too accommodating to their guests. Know when to draw the line and say no. Also their friends are assholes. Seriously, there are certain things that shouldn’t be done  in a friend’s bed. Their guest beds, okay. Just make sure to let them know to wash the sheets before you leave.

If they have in fact decided to switch partners, which the start of the first video would allude to, then I think there is a tremendous problem going on here. Ubisoft has decided that they want to say to hell with endorsements of conventional relationships. Lets really take things to the next level. We’ve done the monogamy thing. We like it. Not always for everyone but hey, more power to you if it is. Let’s try to be swingers. Swingers who can’t do this kind of thing without the help of video games.

However once again I’m left to wonder, why the hell are you just sitting on the sofa? What’s so wrong with you that you decide “No thanks, I don’t want to have fun. I’m cool having an awkward staring contest with everything in the room OTHER than the person sitting next to me.” You’re adults. Grow a pair and have some fun.

Either way someone is going to hear “We have to talk” in the morning and that will not be a fun conversation.

We Dare: Bonus Video 4 – The It’s About Damn Time You Figured it Out

Oh god no. It’s these two idiots again. What the hell are they waiting for an invitation? Oh…they were…they really are a couple of tools. Protip fellas, if she has to invite you into the bedroom, you’re really in over your head. Not in a good way either.

Given that this is a Europe only release for the PS3 and Wii it looks like over here in the States we won’t have to worry too much about strange awkward relationship moments. Just the normal awkward relationship moments.

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)